Richard Cheese is a dick

I wrote in a previous story about being in Las Vegas, and seeing Richard Cheese playing a show. It was a pretty damn good show, even though it was almost exactly like his live album. He played all the same songs that he did on the live album. Only the banter was different. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it very much. It just wasn't different.

Now, here's where it gets tricky.

Richard usually comes out front and gets pictures with his fans after the show. Pretty cool of him, I think. He signed some CDs, talked a little bit with the people, and all that. When it came time for my turn, everything went just as it had for everyone else.... Until picture time.

I put my hand on his back. Just a place to put it, I wasn't trying to molest him or anything.

"Don't touch me." he says.

I laugh it off a little bit, but put my hand back on his back.

"I said, don't fucking touch me." He doesn't sound angry at all, but he does have a certain look of disdain in his eyes.

So, I put my arm down, we get a couple pictures, then go on our way. We walked a few paces away, and I watched him take pictures with other people for the next 5 minutes or so. Every time there was a hot woman, he would put his arm around her, or let her fawn all over him. However, if there was a guy, he would make sure there was plenty of space between them. Either he's homophobic to an extreme I haven't seen before, or he's just a dick.

A couple months later, he comes to Seattle. I go with a few friends of mine, and we have a great time. When we walk in, his manager is at the front table selling t-shirts and CDs and such. She recognizes me and says, "Hey! What are you doing here? Weren't you in Vegas?"

"Yeah! I live here. I came to this show, too, because it's a friends bachelor party."

We exchange some more pleasantries, I give her my number, and we enjoy the show. Two of my friends are constantly talking and making comments during the show. So much so, that Richard notices, and points ME out. He tells the crowd to boo ME because I'm talking. One of the security guards comes over, and chastises me for it. I explain that it wasn't me, but my two asshole friends. (Who are still making comments, by the way). The security guard reminds me not to make comments, or I will be escorted out.

I don't say anything else during the show. And we have a pretty good time.

Afterward, we get pictures with Richard again.

I'm wearing the same suit as I was in Vegas, and he recognizes me. I don't touch him at all this time, and we get a picture. He then turns to me, and says, "Don't yell shit during my show." I try to explain that it was my idiot friends, but he wouldn't listen, and just walked off.

I went down to the "Green Room", which is the bar inside Showbox Market, where the concert was. I end up having some drinks with the piano player, Bobby, and the drummer, Frank. I even get them to sign a girl. Frank got the front, Bobby got the back. They were cool as shit.

Richard Cheese is a dick.