Drinking with Goons

Have you ever went drinking with a couple friends that obviously can out drink you, even on your best day? Well, it's happened to me a couple times, and this is the story of one of those times.

Myself, Kevin, Jay and Ryan finished up a solar job in less than a day. We thought it was going to take about 3 days to do, but we busted our asses and got finished early.

After work, we went to our local bar for some drinks to wind down. Turns out, we were just winding up.

We started off by just having a couple of beers. That's all we were gonna have. Then, someone starts buying shots. And by someone, I mean everyone. Not including me, because I haven't gotten paid yet. We started doing shots of Fireball Whiskey, then shots of Jameson, then Wild Turkey.

Suddenly, Ryan has the bright idea that we should all go downtown and party, since we got paid, and we don't have to work in the morning. Great idea.

We all head to our apartment (mine and Ryan's), to shower and get changed to go out, as none of us has showered yet. Ryan is taking forever, so he says he'll just meet us downtown. We get in a cab, and head to Pioneer Square. I'm pretty sozzled by this point, and we haven't even started yet.

We started off by hitting the J&M Cafe. A shot or two there.

Then, we go to the Central Saloon. We each have a double Jameson there.

Then, we go to the Firehouse, get some food, and have another couple shots.

This is just the first hour. Now, I'm wasted, and so are my Jay and Kevin, but they're handing it better than I. We were about to head into a club, when some guy walking past me says something about my shirt. It's a nice summer evening, so I'm not wearing a jacket, and I'm also wearing an ARMY t-shirt. This guy was apparently in the army. So, he says to me, "Army, huh? You know you shouldn't be drunk in public in the army, right?"

"Dude, I'm rocking a ginger beard that is obviously manicured, and has also taken obviously more than a couple days to grow. I'm not in the Army anymore. But thanks for the advice, Staff Sargent."

"How did you know my rank?"

"Only a newly promoted Staff Sargent would correct someone on their outfit. AR 670-1. I remember. Now fuck off."

At which point, Jay notices that I'm having an issue with someone, and that guy is walking away, obviously pissed off. His friends are trying to convince him to let it go. But he doesn't want to. Jay asks me if there's an issue, because he's in the mood to fight someone. I tell him it's cool, and we head toward the club.

Still no Ryan.

Outside, we meet another Goon, Shawn, who is the head bouncer at the club. Jay and Kev are bullshitting with him, and suddenly, I have the need to get home. I'm so drunk, that I don't even bother telling them I'm heading back, and start walking.

It's 6 miles back to West Seattle, and I'm determined to walk back. Alone. With no jacket.

So, I start down 1st Ave, posting on Facebook on my phone during the walk. This was not a good night for me to be drunk and unsupervised. As I was walking, stumbling actually, people crossed the street to avoid me. I don't know why. It's not like I was going to rob them. I even sat down near Studio 7, and took a nap on the sidewalk for about 10 minutes.

That's right. I was so drunk, I took a nap on the sidewalk. Not my proudest moment.

I walked all the way down 1st Ave to the West Seattle Bridge. I walked under the bridge, over the lower bridge, and arrived at the Chelan Cafe. On the way, my friend Krista got a hold of me, and came to get me. She bought me a couple Jager shots at the Chelan, then gave me a ride home.

I was home for a couple hours, passed out on the couch, when Jay and Kev got back. Still no Ryan. Jay crashed on the other couch, Kev slept in my bed, and I was still passed out on the love seat.

When we woke up the next day, there was still no Ryan. Turns out he bailed on us to go hang out with some chick. Thanks, buddy. It was your idea to go out to Pioneer Square in the first place.

The fun part is, I wasn't even hung over the next day.

I was still drunk. For the entire day. I was hung over, the NEXT day. That sucked.